Life's Curveballs

**DISCLAIMER** This post may be all over the place as I have thoughts running in every direction possible and I am not the best at putting it all together in chronological order so if you make it all the way through pat yo self on the back!

Well 2014 has been an emotional roller coaster with many bumps and road blocks that have really shaken my foundation. It started off great with getting a big girl job that I knew was giving me excellent  training and experience for what I wanted to do in the future. I was dating an amazing guy and learning so much from him and having a blast dating him. I had my 23rd birthday which was so much fun and I absolutely loved all the surprises and the scavenger hunt my friends put on for me. The Gilbert Temple was dedicated and allowed me to take many friends through the open house and I LOVED all the missionary opportunities it gave me. My Nanna and Papa were seriously thinking about joining the church. Institute council was going great and I loved the lessons I was learning and the spiritual insights every week that gave me strength to move forward in my spiritual progression. I was busy with wedding videos and excited to see my little hobby business take off like I had imagined it. So looking at all the things mentioned above, life was pretty dang good and I had never felt so much happiness. Well its silly to think that life could be so great for so long and March 15th was the start of the sequence of the curveballs in life I was not prepared for. As blogged about previously my dear sweet cousin CJ had passed away and what a sad day and week it was. Two days after the funeral, boyfriend breaks up with me which was unexpected and it completely crushed all my confidence, self-worth, and faith. I was quite embarrassed at how much I was crying that night and for the weeks after that, I had never felt this broken before and didn't know how to handle it. This wasn't me, I have always been a tough girl one that doesn't wear her heart on her sleeve, and bounces back from everything with a smile on her face and joyful attitude. But I think it was a combination of the two events where I felt completely alone and helpless, and like the life had been sucked right out of me. The night of the break up I fell to my knees in prayer, pleading and crying with my Heavenly Father to comfort me and help me get through these hardships. I was a grump for a week or so and I hated seeing me like this and knew I wasn't a joy to have around and I NEEDED to change but wasn't sure how. Well April 12th my best friend Kelsey leaves for Texas to live there til she leaves for her mission and that was another thing I had a hard time with. I hate goodbyes and changes that are not in my favor, and I kind of sunk back into a poor me pity party claiming I had just lost my last single friend and convincing myself I was all alone. It was such a stupid thought to have because my ward is full of amazing ladies that I know I could easily hang out with. But again it was just another "hardship" added to the list of things I hadn't gotten over yet and seemed to make my load even heavier. April 28th was our last meeting for institute council and as stated in many blog posts I LOVED that calling and was extremely sad to be released as that was a huge part of my life. Then April 30th I was let go from work unexpectedly and was pretty shattered by the news. I finally felt like I was understanding my responsibilities and connecting with my other co-workers and starting to enjoy it. Although I wasn't in love with my job and hated the drive every day, I knew it was good training and experience for me to have at this time. As I packed up my stuff I was holding back tears trying to be tough but when I said goodbye to Natalie the tears started to come. As I was driving home I felt like I had been kicked in the stomach and still wonder how I got home that day. I felt like a zombie just looking forward with absolutely nothing going on in my mind. I was in complete shock and felt like a huge disappointment to everyone. That afternoon I did the only thing I knew that could help me not sit at home and cry and that was to serve. I picked up my little cousin from school, got my visiting teaching companion and went to visit teach our girls, then helped my mom with her girls camp certification and when I got home, I received a confirmation that everything was going to be alright and that the Lord had something else in store for me. That was exactly what I needed and that is what I have been holding onto since. So yeah March 15th- April 30th were the loneliest, darkest, most terrible 6 1/2 weeks I have experienced. I lost one of my favorite cousins, I lost my boyfriend, I lost my best friend, I was released from my favorite calling, I lost my job, and I lost Trellany. It felt as though everything good that had been going on in my life was taken away from me. Now if I didn't have the knowledge of the gospel, I don't know how I would of been able to move forward. I can strongly testify that the power of prayer, the atonement, and the pure love of Christ are REAL and they are the only way I can be here today with a smile on my face and positive attitude. During these 6 1/2 weeks of unfortunate events I have never felt the love and comfort of my Savior more strongly than I did then. It was one of the most remarkable experiences and as weird as it sounds, I felt like Christ literally hand his arms around me, hugging me and giving me the comfort I needed to get through each day. It was crazy, I still am just blown away with how real it felt and has strengthened my testimony tremendously, in more ways than can be described. Now as I am slowly getting back to the swing of things and figuring out the Lords plan for me I am grateful he as given me trials that he knew I could overcome. At the time I didn't think I could, I had a lot of doubt, pain, and anger inside me as I didn't understand why these all had to happen one right after the other. Couldn't He of spread these out a little bit? Given me time to heal from the previous one before the next one was laid out in front of me? As I have studied the scriptures and prayed with a sincere heart he has provided ways for me to see the bigger picture and understand that I needed each experience as they were meant for me to grow so I can become my best self.

NOW what am I up to you might ask? Probably thinking I have all this free time to go wakeboarding, and swimming, and traveling. FALSE I tell you. I have been filling up my days with things I enjoy! Such as the attending the temple, working on video projects, I am been putting a ton of time and energy into getting a website set up, business cards, and growing this hobby business of mine. It's so nice to be able to work on them during the day and to take my time on them instead of working in the late hours of the night. I am helping my mom out with data entry stuff and babysitting here and there.
 Then the exciting news is... dun dun dun! I am helping out with Time to Blossom this year!! I have a huge passion to get a job in planning and implement church conferences! Whether it be with the youth such as EFY and Time to Blossom or for the Time Out for Woman or BYU Women's conference. I just want to work with more meaningful events where many lives are touched. A week after I got let go from work I contacted Time to Blossom to see if there was anything I could help with this year, whether it be a counselor or in the office or onsite. They heavily rely on volunteers so they said of course and the director of operations was eager to meet me and see where I wanted to help. I told her my story and experience and we talked about me helping with registration, busing, video, and crafts. Then a couple days later I met with Carla who is one of the starters of Time to Blossom and can I just say that meeting with her was a HUGE answer to my prayers. Her and Debbie have been doing this for 5 years and know all the people who are in charge of EFY, and Time Out for Woman, and everyone that is important to know for me to get into working for these conference planners. I am going to help them out in many different areas before Time to Blossom starts and then all week i'll be there and she said after they work with me and get to know me they will help in any way possible to get me in the doors with EFY or the Woman's conferences. I was grinning from ear to ear and left so excited that this door had been opened for me so easily. I had been praying for months asking the Lord that IF I was supposed to continue with event planning to PLEASE guide me to the right people in the church and open the doors for me to continue on this path. Seeing this Time to Blossom opportunity fall in my lap like this is just another testimony builder that God does indeed answer prayers!! I am beyond excited to help out with this conference and get my foot in the door for the industry I desire to be in! :)

Moral of the story is... it's all going to work out, curveballs suck but we CAN get through them if we rely on our Savior Jesus Christ, and I am excited to see where life is going to take me next!

 
Ohhhh p.s I went to the Christina Perri concert and it was UHHMAAZZINNGGG!!